voice by: Howie
[audio http://koikun.com/howieju/audio/axolotl.mp3|initialvolume=85]
I look very plain and simple, but I am on fire!
I have the ability to regenerate:
limbs
eyes
spinal cords
hearts
intestines
and upper/lower jaws.
FIRE!!! C’MON!!!!! Shababalaka~!!!
—
“I know what I’m talking about, but I don’t.”
“Life is confusing and I understand why.”
“The world is very simple, but it’s complicated.”
“I feel bittersweet.”
“I like waking up in the morning, but I like sleeping in.”
“I love the entertainment industry, but I hate it.”
“I am young, yet I am old.”
“I am here, but my mind is there.”
“We are weak, but we are strong.”
“Passive Aggressive.”
“I am happy, but sad.”
“I’m in the best stage of my life, but I want better.”
“Lion and Lamb.”
“Love Hate relationship.”
“In the world, but not of the world.”
“Perfect but not perfect.”
” To be balanced and imbalanced at the same time.”
“I’m lost but I feel like that I know where I’m at.”
“I want to be strong, but I might need to suffer first. I don’t want to suffer.”
“1000 miles away is where I want to be, but I don’t want to move.”
“I know many people, but I have no one.”
“Love is all I need, but I want more.”
“Liking to dislike.”
“I don’t like killing animals, but I love eating them.”
“Life and death.”
“Wasting time is not a waste.”
“There’s meaning in everything, but everything is meaningless.”
“Beginning and the End.”
“A holy war.”
“Killing in the act of self defense is justified.”
“We live in a beautiful world.”
“Freedom needs boundaries.”
“Blessed are the poor in spirit.”
“Being radical and practical.”
“I want to travel the world, but I just want to stay home.”
“I have many identities, but I am one person.”
“Absolute Truth and relative truth co-exists.”
“Looking alive on the outside, but dead in the inside.”
“The answer is ‘yes’ and ‘no’.”
“Go, but wait.”
“I love to be alone, but I hate it.”
“To die is to gain.”
“Do the impossible.”
“See the invisible.”
“Robin Hood is a hero, but to the rich, he’s the villain.”
“Jack is the hero for killing the giant, but no one called him a murderer.”
“King David killing Goliath made him a hero. King David killing Bathsheba’s husband made him a murderer.”
“My artwork is not black and white, it’s full of color.”
voice by: Tim Yen
[audio http://koikun.com/howieju/audio/farsight.mp3|initialvolume=90]
Sometimes we look so far ahead into the future or plan so detailed to consider what’s up far ahead that we forget to look at the things which are right in front of us. We are so obsessed with predicting the next move of the world that we become like a robot going on a rampage. We’re so enticed by the next big trend, next cutting-edge technology, next star to be born, next fortune company to invest, the next child prodigy, the next big money maker. We’re so captivated by these things that we forget so enjoy the simple things in life like.. flowers.. toys.. clouds.. seashells.. feathers.. and bread. If we continue to obsessively indulge our mind on the things far away, we’ll eventually crush all the enjoyable things that are nearby right in front of us. The future can never be caught, it’ll never let you catch it. We’ll crush everything that are truly enjoyable and have nothing left but fragments and brokenness.
There’s something fascinating about chasing something from afar. It’s the imaginary intimacy that is fantasized in our minds to fill up the God-sized vacuum of our soul. I want to let you know that it is not right, it is not fair, and that it is not healthy to project a fairy tale character we created in our minds on to a real human being even if reality and fairy tale may not be so different. One of the keys to life is to understand and empathize with people to the core. The past does not define them, the current status quo does not define them, neither do the great prophesies and callings define people. We know people to the core by grace and effort. Yes, we are called to a destiny that is bigger than our own. But the counterpart that God has prepared for us does not always have to sound like a fairy tale. If it is a fairy tale story, the purpose isn’t so that the entire world may know your amazing fairy tale story. You can’t slap on the phrase “All glory goes to God” and make it God’s glory. That would be your own glory pretending to say that it’s God’s glory. I also want to let you know that you don’t have to chase from afar, just shut your self justification, and take courage and take a good look at the things close to home.
The voices of truth tells a different story.
The voices of truth says, “Do not be afraid”.
So, take courage. Take courage.
Why do you always want to chase things that are far away? I know that it brings comfort knowing that there’s someone out there for you. I know that the knowing itself brings comfort. But do not depend on it. If you create a fantasy character and project it onto them, you won’t be able to truly get to know them. Wouldn’t that be so depressing? I don’t want you to live that way. I want you to live by truly committing and truly developing true relationship and that will take time. You don’t always need to be on the move. You do, but you really don’t. I really hope that you find a home base. Keep waiting because one day, you will find that person.
Just wait.
Just wait.
One day you’ll meet the person, the beautiful silhouette person by the window who you saw in your dreams that told you,
“Thank you for waiting for me.”
You will meet that person and that person will be with you forever. You don’t even have to know when it’ll happen, because in God’s time it has already happened. Take a closer look at home because home is where the heart is how ever big your home is. There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re just waiting for a person with the same size heart to match your own.
A little tree in a pot saw a big tree and asked the older tree if one day he’ll ever grow as big as him. The big tree replied to the little tree,
“Yes. Once you are planted into the ground like me you will slowly grow as big as me!”
“Yay!” squeaks the little tree.
The little tree was very happy and excited to know that one day when he’s taken out of his little pot he will be planted and will become just as big as the older tree. The reason why the little tree is still in a pot is because the gardener is waiting for the right season and the exact place to plant his precious tree in his garden. It does not mean that the tree is worthless, it just means that the little tree is worth a lot to the gardener so it is being well protected. When the time is right, the little tree will be taken out of its pot and will be carefully planted into the earth. The newly planted tree will also go through many seasons of fruitfulness and barrenness, but the gardener will enjoy eating his sweet delicious fruit.
voice by: Tim Yen
[audio http://koikun.com/howieju/audio/whale.mp3|initialvolume=90]
I am a whale
And I cannot fly.
I am big.
I do not have wings.
I am not meant to fly.
None in the past has ever flown.
None in the future will ever fly.
There is no hope.
It is impossible.
But I still dream and wish, that one day I can fly.
What a glorious day it would be, when one day I fly.
Even though I cannot fly, I still love myself .
Because there are things in this world that only I can experience.
None other than me because
I am a whale.
Back in 2008, Albert Jin had to make a tough decision of either going to Japan or China for his summer mission trip. In my heart, Jesus told me to tell him to flip a coin. He thought that it was absurd, but realized that there is no harm and that it’s actually pretty interesting. We gathered 4 of his roomates: Brandon, Theo, Daniel, and Wilson and told them the plan of how we will find out where Albert will go for his next mission trip. Albert actually wanted to go to China because he thought that being able to speak Chinese would an great asset for the team. On the contrary, Chinese wouldn’t be as a valuable asset if he went to Japan so He assumed, but God’s ways are far beyond our ways. The Bible verse that popped into my mind was from Act 1 when the original disciples had to choose a replacement for Judas. We read the story and we decided that it was time to flip the coin. All six of us held hands together and prayed that God would bless it and reveal his thoughts for Albert.
After we prayed, we decided that if majority of the toss is TAILS Albert would go to Japan and HEADS would be for China. I told Albert that I feel God telling me that he’s supposed to go to Japan. Albert was like… “No way! It’s going to be China!” I told him… “We’ll see.” So we flipped our coins one by one.
Brandon flips TAILS… Albert was like… “-_-”
Theo flips TAILS..
Daniel flips TAILS!
Wilson flips TAILS!!! (by this time we were freaking out!)
Albert flips TAILS!!!!!
and finally I flip TAILS!!!!!!!! (by this time it was obvious lol)
We were so tripped out!!! The UCI students busted out a calculator and the calculated the percentage of getting 6 consecutive TAILS was 1.5625%. We tried to duplicate 6 consecutive TAILS again but it didn’t happen. In the end, it was obvious that Albert was supposed to go to Japan for the summer. Even though Albert knew where God was thinking, a part of Albert still wanted to go to China. I told him it’s human nature to rebel against God. The story of Jonah came up and I told him to not be like Jonah. You’ll be blessed everywhere you go, but there’s definitely a best choice.
Albert became close friends with two people on the mission trip that completely changed his life. Soon after the mission trip, Albert got filled with the Holy Spirit and received many gifts from God through these two people.
I woke up one night after having two very realistic dreams. I felt really empty and my chest felt like that two holes were drilled out of my heart. I woke up feeling a physical pain in my heart and in my spirit I saw a moon shaped figure with two holes. And above the moon shaped figure, there were two circular pieces that floated away. The two pieces that floated away were the two dreams I had before I woke up. The first dream I had was 1.) I held a girl from the back and kissed her, she told me that she liked it, but it’s not the right time. The second dream I had was when 2.) I told her “I love you”, she told me that she liked hearing it, but it’s not the right time. The dreams were really intense because I thought that it was real. I woke up really feeling empty because I knew what it meant. I woke up also feeling really angry because I didn’t want these dream because I knew what God was trying to tell me. It was a warning that this person isn’t the one (i was like “dammit!” at that time). God told me that I cannot touch her nor can I entice her with words.. It totally frustrated me because I already had planned to make my visitation. I still was allowed to make my visitation and in the end, it went really well because many thing were confirmed. It was so it was awesome.
Jesus FO SHO! had other plans for me because “His ways are always better than all my ways”.
Her name is Princess Hmm. When I found out that she was a real princess, I felt like that I was not worthy, just like when Aladdin found out that Jasmine was a princess. He felt like a fool, but he got over it eventually. Although she wasn’t the stereotypical princess from an old Disney film, she was still very lovely and beautiful. Her aura was glittered with sparkles and her charm was her compassionate simple smile that deeply understood everyone. I saw that she’s not the stereotypical princess because of her great clumsiness x_o! She’ll trip over a crack on a sidewalk, run into a flag pole, bruise her forehead, fall on the grass, and eat a flower in the process. But I mainly see a friend who is compassionate, lovely, and hard-working, who still seeks for her way back home. I know she’ll find her home again, and I know that I know that her home is there, full abundance of fun adventures to come. There’ll be many jolly times and times not-so carefree, but those are the recipes of adventure. One day we’ll cross roads again and we’ll be ready, ready to already know that our identity is in who we are in the Kingdom. Hmm…
voice by: Howie
[audio http://koikun.com/howieju/audio/castle.mp3|initialvolume=85]
Once upon a time, I saw a vision of a big castle. The sky was blue and the clouds were shaped like sheep with wool. The castle had many tall towers but only one entrance. When the door opened, a crimson red carpet rolled out and a girl I recognized elegantly slowly walked out of the castle door. She was in a fairytale princess dress and was very pink and elegant. When the vision was over, I later realized that all was more real than just a dream.
